Do you ever think, Why do young love with you almost can do the kind of big man your father? Is that you really love him, or his presence to satisfy your desire for some kind of? Are you really worship him, or do you need a subconscious sense of security compensation? psychology, you most desire is that you most need can be most needed in real life are often not eager to give you happiness, hand, you lead a more big loss and disappointment.
here, explore a deviation will be caught; or too lacking in this area, you just eager to find compensation in that regard.
One reason: the loss of childhood fatherly love your performance:
1. you see him, that he did not father's childhood has been compensated.
2. Once you are in his hands, and the other lost spontaneously.
Your experience: born in childhood death of his father, or parents divorced single-parent families.
Psychological Analysis:
because you subconsciously longed for a father, when you find love partner, it is difficult to reject his original desire.
and because, you do not have the experience and his father with the Department, you Most of his father's desire comes from your imagination, so, in reality, the reality often away from your dreams and let you down.
If you see him, that he did not father the child has been compensated, and that You found the love so much, it is better that you find a heart defect companion. Although the compensation and love are often very similar, but essentially they are not the same: love is the production, compensation is the consumer; love is positive, the compensation is negative; love is given, a claim for compensation.
love only in order to become productive Personalities: You give me love and I have because of your love and more love. On the contrary, if you only put him as compensation for the inner needs, you fall hard not to blindly love you in the beginning, with the desire to meet and the passage of time, his love for you will inevitably not lost; Similarly, your love for him may also be because of differences in age and character of fission. result, the original leaning against an elder like that great man once and for all you can from this, everyone knows, once you put his arms, and the other a sense of loss of pessimism, loss of compensation will bring you even greater disappointment.
action: < br> 1.
out of the shadow of his childhood living in long-term if you want the illusion of fatherly love, out of the shadows of childhood is imperative. because only out of the shadows of childhood, you can face the future life; only get rid of illusions trouble, you can find their own preferences, psychologists tell us that one side will inevitably bring the other hand, repressed longing. Maybe you and others need to peers as cheerful, energetic and enthusiastic, then forget the unhappy childhood it, once you get out of the haze of childhood, will find the house is a sun.
2. Do not refuse to woo the same age who
in finding love on the road, do not prejudiced, not gratuitous autistic, do not think they the exception of the men outside the peer does not have feelings (emotional blog, love speak). you know, very often we do not know themselves, and were only in the opposite sex who can truly know yourself, find yourself. So do not easily refuse courtship are the same age, maybe you do not start feeling, once open the gate, with
your performance:
1. with him, you seem to return to the whim of childhood.
2. as long as him, you can recklessly spoiled and willful.
you experience: from childhood was surrounded by a strong father.
Psychological Analysis:
Sometimes, your father's feelings are too deep and will have you in the future on the big men of all ages and preferences. This is because long childhood trip, you get used to his father's indulgence and coddled, but also used his father's coquetry and caprice, and tempting you blindly in the arbitrary caprice, though you have entered the age of adulthood, your mind is still a minor children; maybe you can enter the social role at work, but emotionally it is hard to step out of the childhood of the world, once your heart germination of the seeds of love, you get used to the behavior inevitably lead you and your father is quite a similar to the big man.
Objectively speaking, a young girl and an older man may not be unhappy life, but only if you have to have love, and know the truth for truth, love to love to pay. If you pay the other side of truth love, and you are self-centered everywhere, or simply want him to obey your pulse, so unequal that love may find it difficult to maintain, and even conflict in your relationship or fission may also occur.
action:
1 .
usually out of his father's influence, father is the maternal restrictions and additions. because of maternal love is unconditional, fatherly love is conditional. unconditional love to give them love, warmth, conditional love to teach children to love The sense of proportion. If your father not only failed to give you love propriety, but also indulge more than you, then your eldest child, he is likely to confuse the value you love, you grow up deprived of their ability. As relations between the sexes in half, if your idea of love is not only a request to give, in the interaction between the sexes, you would be difficult to be happy.
2. Learning about the person
conscious learning about the person and can help you out of the narrow self-centered.
three reasons: After the break, and young boys, big men to seek the protection of
your performance:
1. you think that only older men love to give you security.
2 . you know that he treated you impeccable, but you still something missing.
Your experience: a young boy had been deeply hurt, they might be between jobs, or irresponsibly walking away, excuses are immature, you believe that only a real man can give you a mature sense of security, so you can do almost chose a great man your father.
but after experiencing the pain of lost love, a love of the girl seems to be persistent Changes in the development of poles apart easily; former you looking for a person you love, now you think to find a man who loves you more affordable, more cost-effective. This way you will inevitably place the interests of not falling into the trap of love, once students mature rice cooked rice you will find that, despite his impeccable to be you, but you still something missing.
action:
1. Do not look to rely on
with scars after a period of injury, it is best not to rush investment relationship. people need to recuperate after injury, after injury in need of psychological training and regulation. with a scar is not looking to rely on can not be found, but, scars of pain to make you prone to selection error, the potential resentment and make you easy confusion of love measured.
grievances and imbalances despite the injury the pain of healing is often needed a replacement for the time being, however, alternative, after all, not love. until wounds healed, the call would love to tell you the real love , instead of until after the indulgence of all by surprise, as sensible from the outset to become your master. This will not only not a waste of their own again, others will not be unfair.
2. love is the true meaning of not taking Maybe you give
fascination with the big men is that you do not want to give just want to obtain a copy, is really like, even though they are willing to give, you will not indulge in happy to be loved. love, happiness is not the result of sowing and reap the profits but the hard . Once you learn the sowing love, perhaps the charm of great men and weakening. you have to believe that only through their own labor, in order to receive a copy of their own love.
four reasons: to think girls love dream < br> your performance:
1. you never feel the same age boys, that they shallow and tasteless.
2. only big man to let you heart charming mature.
your experience: you are naturally introverted , sensitive, preoccupied. do not know when, you start to shape the novel and movie image of mature man out of the dumping, their eyes deep, mysterious smile, the complexity of the past are there for you can not talk to attract force.
Psychology:
the West have such statistics: a weak, easy to think of the boys fell in love with a mature large woman. Similarly, a sentimental young girl, over-age men are easy to be her big temptation .
This is because, sentimentality is often more a product of thinking: not think there will be no worries, no thinking will not felt. The problem is, women tend to come from the romantic to her narcissistic, her narcissism has deepened her romantic, and her obsession with most of the big man is the product of such a romantic.
What is more, her pain was not in love itself, but that she did not want to develop relationships, but just want to maintain the romance. because she likes to crush than love, she likes to crush the joys than exclusive confession. she is living in the building for their own dreams. If her lover is really good no harm, if he is not Her imagination is so good, her wishful dreams be dashed, she would much because of disillusionment and hurt.
action:
1. out of the girl most narcissistic narcissistic
have some depression. Duosi Min advantage of her sense of feeling of life was stronger than their peers, the disadvantage is the heart vulnerable, afraid of reality, and her romance with varying degrees of self-torture, if she was fortunate enough to get a love her a man, she would learn to live, out of the narcissistic; if she unfortunately met a cynical player, because she wanted to take a deeper self-inflicted injury and self-torture.
If you are such a girl, preferably conscious to participate in some group activities to make their own loneliness in communication with others to resolve, or you may wish to join a job or career of interest to the wider life in overcoming depression, feelings of others.
2.
out the romantic romantic not actually not a bad thing in itself, if a person in real life, in addition to maintain the appropriate romantic, her life is not easy to rust, but also easy to maintain vigor and optimism. If she blindly tempting depart from reality in romantic, her life is not easy to start her own life will be because of the narrow sense of loneliness and hurt the preparation.
However, no man is an island, you can completely autistic, perhaps in a dream You and he can not be happy, but there is always a dream waking moment, people always grow up one day, rather than wait until then regret the past, it is better to face now, cherish their own. Maybe you think the more mature love big men are not often wrong, as long as you know who you are, what they want, how to do it, you will be able to control their own lives and pulse.
Blue Mountain coffee, bring me sweet love
boys: girls distant round: Liu Bean
Photo Source: Marriage Network success story is absolutely 100
know far that winter, the snow came very early days, flying snow unbridled enthusiasm for the Shan to be a little bit of my spread. After a lapse of three years, I thought the memory of belonging to that period of time has faded, but in this winter's night, memories of old songs like an adagio, exudes old gentle, soothing rhythm in the next, the past gradually becomes clear, gradually spread throughout the thought of happiness, which has become moist eyes up hh
Last year, I graduated from the Provincial Normal College back, as a solid foundation, was assigned to teach high school in a key city.
because their parents urged me to quickly find a boyfriend and I work in the city Xiao friends for help, she recommended me to the absolute 100 up to find Mr.right, also Le Zizi to show off, such a talented woman, went to be very popular. good.
ordinary day I like to write some small essays that talk about work life, the Internet can still be popular. One afternoon, I just status updates to A man named far sent me a message that says the hearts of many a good impression on him. We talked about coffee, chat work, life, love. hee hee stir daily, very happy.
three months, well said, Face it. considerate man I like, but he two years younger than me, education is also lower than me. This set of conditions I had a difference of hh long silence, I promised the vision side. and continue to comfort myself , like a person, is the right age and education do not care!
day, I bought a new set for spinning linen dress, of the point of makeup, add a few to their lightness and self-confidence. meeting place is an antique coffee, dim the lights a lot of whispering lovers sitting, under the guidance of the waiter, I saw a handsome young man. He was wearing glasses, wearing a dark gray suit, a red blood Floral tie, tall man, the word country face, thick black eyebrows slightly upturned, people could not bear more Kanji Yan. He saw me, got up and asked me to sit down and do a simple self-introduction, and then laugh Italy asked me gentle keep company with him. I did not agree, nor against it. In fact, just from the emotion, I was like this gracious man. can not step, but I thought he was two years old the big bucket. until waved goodbye, I or the impulse to hold back the promise, looking far away disappointed.
back to the dormitory Daolebeishui, leaning against the window to drink. This is not the night of the cities, the distance with flashing lights and the stars, each there are people who do not sleep under the lamp light, is different: It was because of sensual indulgence; some as deep loneliness; and I was far from warm eyes, soft and delicate heart sinking as well.
open the computer, writing under the confused state of mind . Xiao to the phone, asking me How are things. I say, and far met, but also, and she said her concerns, Xiao laugh at me, what are the age, and also care about age, said the years, the prevalence Jiedi Lian Let me not to worry. hung up the phone, I entangled thoughts, the Yiyewumian.
bye far, and the light chatting innocuous words. far probably knows my struggle, so many times just quiet Listen to me, and occasionally give me some funny jokes, amused that the first of my computer, be happy living in harmony.
off before the holiday, the parents gave the order, in any case brought to my personal home this year. helplessness over, only to turn away, he actually readily agreed with me home to meet the request of parents.
Spring Festival that year, well decent performance in my home, I am also caring for a home, to family members praise, before leaving, Parents are quiet and I said, well is a good child, be sure to cherish! When I talk about their concerns with them, the parents did not actually surprise I thought, but carefully to comfort me, just one good, one the gap between the age of two, why not again?
the way back to the city, I accidentally sprained foot, far off on the train I have carefully on her own, has sent me to a hostel, told me to take care of yourself before leave. I was Yiyewumian, remember his filial piety to their parents at home, caring for me, when you think he's brilliant smile, gentle eyes just lit hh
next day, just knock on the door awakened I fall asleep. I opened the door bleary-eyed, far stand at the door, and I said, , a little bit of spread. From a distance, I stay fixed, and asked me if I was feet hurt too much. I shook my head and asked him, > far from surprised a moment, then happy to pick me up, said: My heart filled with happiness, a warm man, always put my happiness first, over the past year have added to my love always, even the knows have always said that I met such a man envious. this city, With a can rely on the mind, he up and everything becomes better.
and the love between us, as the Blue Mountain coffee, attached to the original rich aroma, Qin Xin and pleasant!
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